There is actually nothing wrong in making mistakes because failures offer valuable lessons to learn from that eventually help us become a better person. Repeating them, however, is always destructive. So what does it happen and what do we do about it?
We live in patterns
The main reason we keep repeating our mistakes is a habit. We form habits out of objects, people, events, and activities that eventually become part of who we are. Staying away from them – no matter if they are positive or negative – makes us feel deeply uncomfortable. Our brains are programmed to strive for familiar things. Because they feel right.
In other words, if you’ve been doing something for years, you will continue to do so, despite negative results. Doing anything else creates a feeling of discomfort.
How can you break destructive habits?
It takes years to form bad habits and you will need quite some time to break them. The key is retraining and reshaping your mindset to replace negative patterns with positive ones, which will lead to better choices and outcomes.
Here are the steps you need to take:
- Take a break – Have you been under a great amount of pressure and stress? You need to stop and ask yourself “Why am I doing this?” or “What is the purpose of all this?”. Are you bored, depressed or simply in a bad mood? Try to find the trigger of negative feelings in the world around you and within your thoughts.
- Write about your mistakes – Physically writing your thoughts down will certainly make a difference. It helps you deeply analyse the string of events that will lead you to the root of the problem.
- Make a list of changes you need to make – Write down the things that will make a positive impact on your current situation and leave it where you can see it. Take control of yourself and stick to it. The list is like a contract you sign with yourself. When you can trust yourself to keep this commitment, your confidence and motivation will greatly improve.
- Talk to a friend you can trust – Sometimes an alternative view on your situation can help you see the things you fail to notice about yourself. After that, update your list.
It is important to remember that nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes. Sometimes it takes a few tries to not repeat the same error or even realize something is a mistake. Be patient and remember that breaking bad habits takes time. Keep working on yourself.